Momento Mori

Memorial Day is an important holiday, but in recent years its meaning has shifted and slipped in ways I often find disturbing. Today we remember those whose lives were lost in service to our country. Today we honor all whose service became sacrifice. 

Perhaps because meaning is always fluid and shifting, and undoubtedly because our country has too long been at war, I am often troubled by the frequent hyper-valorization we apply to our service men and women. I do not mean that anyone who has served should be valued less, nor that they should not be remembered and esteemed. But the important and even solemn task of remembering those who died in service is increasingly conflated with recognizing everyone who served. Today is not a day to honor and celebrate all the men and women in uniform; today they, like us, remember those who are no longer with us. 

I see a similar slippage in the use of the term "hero", and I worry about the misuse of this word too. Everyone who has served and who currently serves our country deserves our honor, respect, and admiration. But serving in uniform does not make someone a hero. In fact, I worry that turning everyone into a hero diminishes the respect and honor intrinsic to being a service member. 

Chief Petty Officer Robert Feller. Image from
http://www.navalhistory.org/

Like many in Cleveland, today I think of Bob Feller. One of the greatest pitchers in the history of the game, and perhaps the greatest player in the history of Cleveland baseball.  Feller's service was truly a pure sacrifice: he enlisted while his father was terminally ill and he was exempted as the sole supporter for his family. Feller missed what may have been the prime years of his career to enlist in the Navy and serve in World War II. While it may have taken away nearly one hundred wins from his Hall of Fame career, his service as an anti-aircraft gunnery chief on the USS Alabama contributed to that ship's 8 battle star commendations during the war.

Feller's service is well documented and rightly honored. Always outspoken, Feller never shied away from discussing his service. And like me, he felt the same discomfort with people calling him and anyone who served a hero. Feller's response was clear and direct,

"I'm no hero. Heroes don't come back. Survivors return home. Heroes never come home. If anyone thinks I'm a hero, I'm not."

This does not diminish the service of veterans and active members of the armed forces. Simply being a soldier, sailor, airman, or marine deserves respect and honor: I worry that this is forgotten when we too quickly call everyone a hero. Today is a day to remember those who truly are heroes.